Castle of Indolence

I only subject you to this post as Adi, in a fit of ignorance, tagged me to write about 5 restaurants I like. Firstly, let me say that gastronomically, I ceased growing at the age of 5. I still prefer Bournvita to coffee ( the new 5-star Bournvita is revolting). And while George Orwell may expound on the joys of bitter,black tea, I prefer my chai to have large helpings of both milk and sugar. Sugar, in fact, makes up a large part of my diet. Idlis with sugar? Bring it on, I say. If I haven't fallen far enough in your estimation, let me add that I'm also an annoying holier-than-thou reformed vegetarian.

Having conclusively denied any claims to being the next Curnonsky, I shall now hold forth on the restaurant I despise the most. Despite Delhi offering an incomprehensible array of cuisines, ranging from the Antarctic to the sub-Saharan (seemingly), my parents favourite eat-out in Delhi remains that bastion of Tamil pride: Saravana Bhavan. Usually getting into an SB in Delhi would mean an interminable wait. Once in, this is a typical conversation between me and my parents:

Me (after perfunctory perusal of menu): I think I'll have (Item A)
Mom directs a reproachful glare at me.
Me (befuddled): What?
Mom: I can make far better (Item A) at home than is available here.
Me (rolling my eyes): Ok fine, I'll have (Item B) then.
Mom , who has never uttered any rebuke regarding my lengthy spell of unemployment, repeats reproachful glare. And goes on to wonder how, despite her excellent parenting, I've turned out like this. I then start frantically looking for an item of the menu which would appease my mom. The cycle usually continues till both my patience and appetite have vanished.