Castle of Indolence

" I am bored with my work very often now. Everything routine that comes in I pass along to someone else. This makes my boredom worse. It's a real problem to decide whether it's boring to do something boring than to pass along everything boring that comes in to somebody else and then have nothing to do at all. "
-- Bob Slocum in 'Something Happened' by Joseph Heller (which I procured for the princely sum of twenty rupees at Daryaganj. I love the cover of this edition which has a humungous, unflappable exclamation mark staring out at us.)

Joseph Heller's second novel is a completely different from its famous predecessor and deals with the fears (paranoia?) of a corporate executive, Bob Slocum, who is unhappy despite 'having it all' (attractive wife, three kids, big house, fat salary, as many mistresses as he wants). The absurd black humour of Catch 22 is replaced by the torturous stream-of-consciousness commentary of the misanthropic Slocum. The book's tone is reminiscent of the movie 'American Beauty' and also the blog Anonymous Lawyer. (I know I know ..comparing 'literature' to a mere blog is sacrilegious. Nonetheless). Though I loved the book, it's not for everyone. It's pretty lengthy (around 600 pages) and the merciless (and persistent) cynicism of Slocum and the generally depressing atmosphere of the book isn't easy to stomach.

The book's blurb actually sums it up best : In Catch 22 he (Heller) satirized the horrors of war: In Something Happened he has attempted something more ambitious and difficult- satirizing the horrors of prosperity and peace.

In case anyone is wondering what a certain Jerry Seinfeld is upto these days. Don't get too excited. It only releases in november 2007.

In the novel Twenty Something by Iain Hollingshead, Flatmate Fred says that a quarter-life crisis is twice as bad as a midlife crisis: "It's twenty years premature. No one gives you any sympathy and you're too young and insignificant to buy a sports car and run off with your secretary."

Sometimes I think the problem was getting a job too early during the placements. I'd have been a completely different person if, after graduation, I'd had to spend a few desperate months hunting for an organisation who thinks I'm employable. At least I'd banished illusory notions like job satisfaction and got on with the business of making some money.

Judging purely by its sport, film and book sections, I considered the Guardian Unlimited a superb newspaper which generally doesn't indulge in tabloid-style hyperbole. So when I came across an article in it describing Shah Rukh Khan as the world's biggest film star, I was reduced to uttering Kramer-esque sounds of exasperation. But then, I realised it could be an entirely valid claim, given that imbeciles are a dime a million (like the ex-colleague who loved watching Brazilian soccer team as he found a bottomless reservoir of mirth in the fact that every time they played the scoreboard on the topleft corner of the TV screen showed a name resembling a ladies undergarment).

But faith in the Guardian plummeted again when in another article he as referred to as Mumbai's version of Cary Grant. Yeah, I can SO imagine Cary Grant performing for money at weddings. Forget about turning in his grave, I'm amazed Grant has not embarked on a Beatrix Kiddo-inspired roaring rampage of revenge against the Guardian staff for comparing him to an over-rated, stammering 'ham'mer.

Disclaimer: Having said that, I thought SRK handled the interview rather well.

A few months ago, I waded through a documentary comic book called 'Postmodernism for beginners'. The idea being that reading it would enable me to casually slip the word 'Po mo' (snobspeak for 'postmodernism') in my conversations and leave the world marveling at my dazzling intellect. After a month's uphill battle, I completed the book. Unfortunately, I was none the wiser about postmodernism . This was partly because the authors themselves weren't particularly sure what it was, and partly because when confronted with dizzying concepts like 'deconstruction' and 'rejection of meta-narratives', my cerebrum gave in and flashed its equivalent of the blue screen of death. But it wasn't all in vain, as I at least came across some interesting art like John Cage's 4'33'' and Carl Andre's Bricks.

Apparently, this is a postmodern knock knock joke:


The Postmodernism Generator is a bit of sheer genius conjured up by critics of Pomo. It's randomly generates seemingly postmodern essays ('pomobabble') which are actually completely meaningless.

One Thursday, thousands of years ago, a Neanderthal ponders his limitations:

1. Lack of physical strength
2. Incapable of outrunning most predators and prey
   
3. Inability to smell a predator unless it's right under their nose. (at which time points 1 and 2 come into play causing their untimely death)
4. No night vision goggles (especially before Tom Hanks taught them the intricacies of starting a fire).
5. Nagging wives.

Considering the almost insurmountable odds they overcame to ensure humans reached the apex of the food chain and that we've cemented our place there for millenia, shouldn't all humans be leading idyllic Bertie Wooster-like Idle Rich lives (like I am.. ok at least i've managed the idle bit), instead of spending it being cooped up in cubicles of giant multinationals corporations feeling like the middle child in the family of a million ? (and spending weekends watching the latest mindless atrocity unleashed by bollywood). Seriously, evolution and opposable thumbs are over-rated. (Sorry: had to get that rant off my chest)

Douglas Adams says it best in H2G2 : "Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."

P.S: Faith in humanity has been a little restored by Wikipedia. It's staggering that people would volunteer to create such a massive store of knowledge (admittedly dodgy at times), and constantly safeguard it from vandals, with no tangible benefit or ulterior motive.

Doesn't the old man in the Airtel Songcatcher ad (with the 'Julie' song) look like an elderly version of Kramer? And trying to 'catch' a song playing in a stranger's car is just the sort of horseplay Kramer is liable to indulge in.




Ok, I know hardly anything is visible in the picture of the ad. I was just testing how to upload images and this was the first one I found related to the ad.

But this is sad. Another reminder for us to not mix up the character and the actor portraying the character.( I've always thought it strange that the person who plays one of the wackiest characters in television has a regular, boring name like Michael Richards.) If the 'Seinfeld Curse' didn't kill off Richards' career, this looks like it could. The only glimmer of hope for him is that Mel Gibson has bounced back to top the box office charts from a similar incident a few months ago. But then, Gibson was always an A list celebrity, something which he can't claim to be.

Over the past few years, we've gotten pretty comfortable with the notion that India has become an IT superpower. What with record profits being announced every quarter, booming salaries and Mr Tom Friedman tom-tomming the Flat World. Recently came across this, which puts the whole IT boom in perspective. Despite the employee headcounts of India's 'world class' software companies rapidly ballooning towards Indian Railways-esque levels, the entire revenues of India's IT/ITES sectors (as of March 2006) is roughly equal to the amount of money Americans spent on their pets for the year 2006. Frankly, I thought that was pretty hilarious.